Tuesday, January 27, 2009
carry this love
Brian Michael Everest passed away at Lady Minto Hospital on Salt Spring Island on January 12, 2009. He was 45 years old. Brian was diagnosed with acute leukemia in August 2008. He lived his illness with characteristic courage and grace, both of which deepened as he journeyed.
Brian was born on February 6, 1963, in Edmonton, Alberta. He was a master woodworker, cabinet maker and carpenter. He loved his work and he left the world with an incredible amount of beauty and soul. Those he worked with were treasured friends, colleagues, and mentors. So important to him were Lake O’Hara Lodge in the Rockies, Cam Mathieson in Nelson, and Hans Hazenboom on Salt Spring Island.
Brian leaves, as gifts to the world, four children: Hannah, Coleman, Louis and Sef, all of whom share in his kindness and artistry, his intelligence and wit.
Brian’s own father Wayne died in 1991. However, he leaves a large family to miss and remember him: his mother Louise, his stepfather Jim, siblings Allan, Dwight, Wendy, Charlie and Terri-Lou, and all their families. He loved you all.
Extended family and friends formed an intricate, strong and glorious web around him, especially through his illness. Brian was so moved by expressions of love and support and he was, as we are, deeply deeply grateful.
Special notes of thanks go to hospice workers Rajani, Elvira, and Mark, and to Dr. Barclay and the entire, wonderful, Lady Minto staff. Lynn and Mike were his beloved family, fellow artists, and spiritual friends. Their support and connection have been pivotal.
A memorial celebration was held at the Salt Spring Centre of Yoga on January 16, 2009. Many thanks to the Centre community.
It has been an honour to walk in the world with Brian these past 23 years, and a supreme blessing to love and be loved by him.
-Joanne
My work is to carry this love
as a comfort for those who long for you
to go everywhere you’ve walked
and gaze at the pressed-down dirt.
-Rumi
Brian was born on February 6, 1963, in Edmonton, Alberta. He was a master woodworker, cabinet maker and carpenter. He loved his work and he left the world with an incredible amount of beauty and soul. Those he worked with were treasured friends, colleagues, and mentors. So important to him were Lake O’Hara Lodge in the Rockies, Cam Mathieson in Nelson, and Hans Hazenboom on Salt Spring Island.
Brian leaves, as gifts to the world, four children: Hannah, Coleman, Louis and Sef, all of whom share in his kindness and artistry, his intelligence and wit.
Brian’s own father Wayne died in 1991. However, he leaves a large family to miss and remember him: his mother Louise, his stepfather Jim, siblings Allan, Dwight, Wendy, Charlie and Terri-Lou, and all their families. He loved you all.
Extended family and friends formed an intricate, strong and glorious web around him, especially through his illness. Brian was so moved by expressions of love and support and he was, as we are, deeply deeply grateful.
Special notes of thanks go to hospice workers Rajani, Elvira, and Mark, and to Dr. Barclay and the entire, wonderful, Lady Minto staff. Lynn and Mike were his beloved family, fellow artists, and spiritual friends. Their support and connection have been pivotal.
A memorial celebration was held at the Salt Spring Centre of Yoga on January 16, 2009. Many thanks to the Centre community.
It has been an honour to walk in the world with Brian these past 23 years, and a supreme blessing to love and be loved by him.
-Joanne
My work is to carry this love
as a comfort for those who long for you
to go everywhere you’ve walked
and gaze at the pressed-down dirt.
-Rumi
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
changing course
Our dear friends and family,
everything has changed since we last communicated with you. We have had to have conversations with close family, and especially our children before posting our news here, but we've been thinking of everyone who reads this and holds us close, knowing that we needed to talk to you as well...
Last thursday, Nov !3th, Brian had another biopsy, to determine the condition of his bone marrow in preparation for his transplant. We found out on Friday that the information from the biopsy was not what the doctors had been hoping to see.
The chemotherapy that Brian had already been given was not successful in combating the leukemia. In fact, in the month between biopsies, the disease had grown more than 10X. That growth happened in a matter of weeks. There may be other factors which led to the decision of the medical team not to transplant--we will be able to ask questions like this tomorrow--but the fact remains; Brian's bone marrow is too sick to give treatment to. The team of doctors has told us that all they can do is to maintain Brian, for weeks or months, as long as his body can fight off a serious infection or avoid a major bleed.
I feel the sadness of everyone who is reading this. Its so difficult to write.
I want you all to know that we are well and happy within everything that is going on. The kids are on their way from Salt Spring today, and we can't wait to be all together. Our hearts feel so strong with loving and being loved. There will be many kinds of days in the weeks ahead but there is an abiding sense of healing in the face of dying and of the permanence of love in the face of loss. I am thinking of Pete Seeger singing " we shall overcome..." . Go, find it, listen, its a favorite of Brian's. And, oh ya, let's have a party. Ok, its Brian's call, but lets all start imagining celebrating him together.
Love,
Joanne
everything has changed since we last communicated with you. We have had to have conversations with close family, and especially our children before posting our news here, but we've been thinking of everyone who reads this and holds us close, knowing that we needed to talk to you as well...
Last thursday, Nov !3th, Brian had another biopsy, to determine the condition of his bone marrow in preparation for his transplant. We found out on Friday that the information from the biopsy was not what the doctors had been hoping to see.
The chemotherapy that Brian had already been given was not successful in combating the leukemia. In fact, in the month between biopsies, the disease had grown more than 10X. That growth happened in a matter of weeks. There may be other factors which led to the decision of the medical team not to transplant--we will be able to ask questions like this tomorrow--but the fact remains; Brian's bone marrow is too sick to give treatment to. The team of doctors has told us that all they can do is to maintain Brian, for weeks or months, as long as his body can fight off a serious infection or avoid a major bleed.
I feel the sadness of everyone who is reading this. Its so difficult to write.
I want you all to know that we are well and happy within everything that is going on. The kids are on their way from Salt Spring today, and we can't wait to be all together. Our hearts feel so strong with loving and being loved. There will be many kinds of days in the weeks ahead but there is an abiding sense of healing in the face of dying and of the permanence of love in the face of loss. I am thinking of Pete Seeger singing " we shall overcome..." . Go, find it, listen, its a favorite of Brian's. And, oh ya, let's have a party. Ok, its Brian's call, but lets all start imagining celebrating him together.
Love,
Joanne
Friday, November 7, 2008
premonition of a Tree
Hello Everyone!
I'm feeling better and my appetite's good!
My Mom has been sending me some photos of things I've made and the carving above is one of them; I made this head while working at Lake O'Hara about twenty years ago. At the time I remember thinking while carving it that it looked like Tim, one of the managers, who was somewhat challenged in the follicle department. (I know Tim doesn't mind a little good spirited fun poked at him}. I even put a couple of lumps on the head, 'cause Tim was famous for bumping his nogggin while splunking around in crawl spaces, cisterns, and septic tanks.
But check out the crooked smile! It's not Tim, It's Me!! My chemo therapy has me completely bald now, just like this guy (I think I named it George). Anyway, the resemblance is uncanny and I couldn't help but wonder if the whole thing was this big chunk of a tree showing me my future self.
I switched hospital rooms the other day at the urging of a few of the nursing staff. My room was cold and North facing and the one available was warm and South facing. After making the move it felt completely right. That was the room I was sick in and this will be the room I am well in. It really feels like I've past through the worst part of this illness (knock on George) and There is an endless well of gratitude to all of the friends and family out there who helped with their healing energy sent my way.
There's also a fellow named Thich Nhat Hanh, a author of Zen Buddhism who helped me greatly through the hard times. We took many quiet walks together and sat for what seemed like days by a clear flowing mountain stream. He helped me manage my pain by holding it like a small injured child and rocking it until it was calmed. Embracing rather than fighting.
I have so much to learn.
Thank you for your love.
I have never felt so grateful
so human
so held.
Brian
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Breathing a sigh
Its day fifteen, counting from the beginning of Brian's chemo, and we're experiencing a reprieve--from many things, pain, crisis, fear, to name a few. On this day a number of issues seem to be settling down. Brian has had his first solid food for breakfast, he no longer has a catheter, (and all the pain that was going with that), and at last his fever has come down. These are some very good signs.
As I write, Brian is watching CNN's election day coverage. This is the first TV he's watched in age...; what a moment to tune back into the world. The mood of tentative optimism extends, it seems, beyond this hospital room. Can something good really be happening? Do we dare believe? Too late, our hearts are already open and exposed. We do hope.
We have a new team leading his care here on the ward. Its a normal, monthly rotation, but we're pleased with our new Dr.'s.
The Fellow likes Brian's sense of humour, which has begun to surface again. And they call each other Matt and Brian, instead of the more formal options. His Attending Dr. is a beautiful white haired woman with a great sense of softness and eyes so blue they seem electric.
So, I think that all my birthday wishes are covered; Brian feeling better today, and maybe, it looks like, a young, profoundly intelligent, visionary, heart-centered, evolutionary, BLACK man, will soon become the single most powerful figure in the world.
Sigh.
Keep up the hopes and prayers, for Brian, for all of us; this whole world needing healing, unity, tenderness and understanding.
I love you all, feel we are so blessed to be held in this amazing circle of care.
Joanne
As I write, Brian is watching CNN's election day coverage. This is the first TV he's watched in age...; what a moment to tune back into the world. The mood of tentative optimism extends, it seems, beyond this hospital room. Can something good really be happening? Do we dare believe? Too late, our hearts are already open and exposed. We do hope.
We have a new team leading his care here on the ward. Its a normal, monthly rotation, but we're pleased with our new Dr.'s.
The Fellow likes Brian's sense of humour, which has begun to surface again. And they call each other Matt and Brian, instead of the more formal options. His Attending Dr. is a beautiful white haired woman with a great sense of softness and eyes so blue they seem electric.
So, I think that all my birthday wishes are covered; Brian feeling better today, and maybe, it looks like, a young, profoundly intelligent, visionary, heart-centered, evolutionary, BLACK man, will soon become the single most powerful figure in the world.
Sigh.
Keep up the hopes and prayers, for Brian, for all of us; this whole world needing healing, unity, tenderness and understanding.
I love you all, feel we are so blessed to be held in this amazing circle of care.
Joanne
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Day Three
Chemo, day three; Brian is sleeping a great deal today but otherwise not yet feeling the effects of the chemotherapy drugs. Everyone is different as the medical staff remind us. How and when he will react will be individual.
Its mid- afternoon now and I'm sitting in his darkened room. He didn't really sleep during the night, but now the crazy combination of sleeping meds, benedryl, (for blood product reactions), and the chemo premeds are all conspiring. Good, though,to sleep. He has so little mobility right now, with his catheter, and the accompanying big saline bags which are continuously running through his bladder, and two PICC lines, one in each arm--not to mention the additional IV site in his hand because they are always running out of access for something--antibiotics, TPN..... sleeping is a relief, for both of us. He will be disappointed that he missed lunch, though. He's on a full-fluid diet now, so there is soup getting cold and vanilla ice cream getting warm on the tray beside his bed. The return to eating simply these sorts of things has been a real pleasure in the midst of so much discomfort.
Another small pleasure has been the IPod that Louise sent. And, at last, getting the laptop up and running in his room here--a feat I accomplished just today!!-will be a huge lift. Its going to feel like XMas when he wakes up this afternoon.
My week has been one of catching my breath, and catching up on meals and sleep while things are relatively stable. I've also been plowing through things governmental and technological. Seems having acute leukemia isn't at first glance convincing to EI. The powers that be decided originally that 7 weeks was enough, and it took a call to our MP (and a single hour after two months of phone calls) to straighten things out. Thank you, Gary Lunn.
Thanks also to the Salt Spring group who arranged for me to have a hotel room during these chemo days. Its a great gift.
As well,the quilt made by many hands on SSI is a constant on Brian's bed now, and much appreciated.
I bought some books to read to Brian courtesy of Dwight; today we're reading essays by David Sedaris. Smile inducing.
At last, now, Brian will be able to read your postings, and maybe begin on the emails. Sorry so many people have gone unanswered. We so appreciate you all.
love,
Joanne
Its mid- afternoon now and I'm sitting in his darkened room. He didn't really sleep during the night, but now the crazy combination of sleeping meds, benedryl, (for blood product reactions), and the chemo premeds are all conspiring. Good, though,to sleep. He has so little mobility right now, with his catheter, and the accompanying big saline bags which are continuously running through his bladder, and two PICC lines, one in each arm--not to mention the additional IV site in his hand because they are always running out of access for something--antibiotics, TPN..... sleeping is a relief, for both of us. He will be disappointed that he missed lunch, though. He's on a full-fluid diet now, so there is soup getting cold and vanilla ice cream getting warm on the tray beside his bed. The return to eating simply these sorts of things has been a real pleasure in the midst of so much discomfort.
Another small pleasure has been the IPod that Louise sent. And, at last, getting the laptop up and running in his room here--a feat I accomplished just today!!-will be a huge lift. Its going to feel like XMas when he wakes up this afternoon.
My week has been one of catching my breath, and catching up on meals and sleep while things are relatively stable. I've also been plowing through things governmental and technological. Seems having acute leukemia isn't at first glance convincing to EI. The powers that be decided originally that 7 weeks was enough, and it took a call to our MP (and a single hour after two months of phone calls) to straighten things out. Thank you, Gary Lunn.
Thanks also to the Salt Spring group who arranged for me to have a hotel room during these chemo days. Its a great gift.
As well,the quilt made by many hands on SSI is a constant on Brian's bed now, and much appreciated.
I bought some books to read to Brian courtesy of Dwight; today we're reading essays by David Sedaris. Smile inducing.
At last, now, Brian will be able to read your postings, and maybe begin on the emails. Sorry so many people have gone unanswered. We so appreciate you all.
love,
Joanne
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