I'm the designated writer today, as Brian is feeling unwell. He's so committed to communicating with everyone whose love, support, prayers and chants have been maintaining and sustaining us that he's asked me to write an update.
The last couple of days have been fairly stressful as the MDS has begun to make its effect upon Brian's body felt in some big ways. Bleeding and infection are the two big concerns and we've had a dose of both in the past few days. The infection is somewhere in the urinary tract and so is the bleeding. Its all rather alarming, especially on day one, but its amazing how fast you, as patient and spouse, come up to speed and begin to join the team in thinking clinically, strategically about things. 'Okay, here's the problem, lets find the cause and the solution and move forward with a plan.' In the leukemia/bone marrow transplant unit they really utilize and empower the patient and the partner, and give both of us all the information they have moment to moment. It truly is a remarkable part of the health care system and most of the time we stand in awe at the science and the heart that is part of every aspect of Brian's treatment. Life appears miraculous on so many levels and so continuously...the body, in balance and out of balance, seems to me a portal for light. At the moment, Brian with his multitude of bruises, dressings, and in his diminishing strength, is a luminous being, with all those prayers,mantras, and heart felt wishes shining through him.
Please know I feel strength coming in from all of you. Thank you for loving us, being hopeful with us ,and helping us imagine the future.
I am thinking of the poet Rilke's vision; that in our deepest selves, God is still growing.
26 comments:
Through you we have hope and in turn try to give all the strength we can.
Our thoughts are with you day and night and our wish is for better days for you.
Brian, you are so dear to us and, Joanne we love you for all you are to Brian.
Mom and Jim
hey, your pal coleman here holding down the fort. just some everyday updates for you guys.
watched house on tuesday - what a prick. hope you guys never get him.
ate mike's chicken dinner tonight - what a cook.
read joanne's post - what a writer
work on thurs and friday - what a job.
sef loves school, today anyways - what a guy
louis loves soccer - what a gift
dad's situation is soo rough sounding.- what a trooper.
i'm out. keep on keepin on.
Joanne, you are both so brave. Courage and love to you...
Stacey
Joanne and Brian...you both have the strength of giants! ...we all know you both are working very hard to get thru this tough time....you can do it! Keep up the good work!! Lots of Love from Al and Marla
Hey guys, I guess I have kinda just been sharing my sympathy/feelings through the fact that my mother and father (Don and Wendy) had visited you out on Salt Spring, so I just wanted to drop a note to share my feelings. Family tends to drift apart and although in our hearts we are all still so close together, lifes details tend to slip through our fingers and minds. I haven't seen you guys in years, the kids, so grown up and I haven't even met SEF or LOUIS. Since the news not a day goes by where you guys are not in my thoughts. I read your posts everyday or at least check for new ones daily, numerous times. Your family has intense strength and through your writings anyone would be able to tell that. Keep strong, we will get through this.
In My Thoughts,
Mike
"Bickie"
Hey Brian and Joanne...I am not much of a reminiscer but I could't help but smile to myself this morning reading your post and seeing that picture...cause I remember that firemans hat and that cute kid wearing it! Someone in the family used to call him Bickie (prob cause they couldn't pronounce his name) and I believe Grandpa Everest picked up on it and used it also...anyway...nuff said...Brian I hope you are feeling better...and Joanne give that cute kid a huge hug for us! Much Love to you all Joanne Hannah, Coleman, Louis and Sef!
Big "Hi" to you Lynn and Mike...you guys are doing a great job!
Al and Marla
Brian and Joanne; Just read your latest posting, your courage and strength is wonderful and powerful. Loved Coleman's post, quite a guy. Heard he played a mean game of pool, a chip off the old block eh? Please know you are in my prayers, luv you both, Aunt Bea
Thanks for the update Joanne. I'm sending my best thoughts and energy Brian's way. Love to all of you.
Hello everyone...Joanne you sure are a wonderful lady. We've never met but I can tell by your post and Brian's previous ones. You guys are always in my thoughts all the time. Cute picture of Brian - sure brings back memories.
Sending you strength and love.
Barb
Thanks for continuing to stay in touch. Brian, Joanne and family, you are in my heart, my prayers and my thoughts daily. I'm receiving strength and inspiration from you. Thank you. I've been enjoying these colourful fall days to draw and photograph, and I even took a dip in Kootenay Lake last Sunday. I'm thinking of your love of Monica Meadows. I haven't been there this year and I'm reminded that there are so many wonderous places around us and within. Blessings,
Ruth
Yoho
Jo-Jo dancer...
there are no words to say how much we love you and the big bro...as Liam would say "we love you massive...well as big as the sky anyways"
Hang in there
anything, anyplace, anytime
peace out
C.A.L.R.
Hey Brian...sending all my good vibes
your way.
You and your family are in my thoughts
daily.
Stay strong
Kari
Hi Brian
I commented on an earlier post so in case you don't read that, I'm commenting here. Michael told me this morning how you are doing in Vancouver, and I just want to send you my best wishes, and look forward to more tennis balls rolling down my driveway!
All the best,
Pat (right across the road)
Hi, I am a friend of your sister, Terri. I've been reading your blog for weeks, and just wanted you to know that I have been praying for you. Colleen
Hey Bri & Joanne,sending you strength and healing light this crisp autumn day. Rained last night, enormous slugs out strolling thru the garden. Yuch! No matter where I go you are both in my thoughts, and of course thoses gorgeous Kids of yours adding their humour and loving thoughts to the blog. Right on! Luv you much, Aunt Bea
Joanne and Brian,
thank you for the beautiful weekend. I feel blessed to have been able to spend time with you. I really believe that you are in God's hands. To be able to experience that with you was an unforgettable gift. Your transplant will come this week i am sure of that. Brian i will email you the few pictures I took this weekend. You are both beautiful. You are always in our thoughts. Im looking forward to seeing you in a week.
Love
Lea
coleman and louis and sef and mike and lynn love brian and joanne and there is no separation between us ever!
Hey there,
I just got wind of this blog from Lynn. It is good to be able to tune in and keep the paces with you all.
We are all sending you our love and prayers, and holding you. Your warrior spirits are most awe-inspiring. I know that the love is being showered upon you both and the family, from all places, in all ways.
Your Thich Nhat Hanh book awaits you, I will post it today, now that I know where to send it.
With heart and love,
Laura
What a writer, for sure, Joanne!!!! and Brian what a gentle soul, I never got to know you very well but you touched me deeply without knowing, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I have an alter at my window encircling your whole family filled with loving, positive words and two stones, one that Joanne gave me and another that holds beautifull loving devine energy. Joanne- of course I feel you so often and send love, knowing that everything will be okay.
I lit candles in front of the Mary in a church in Italy for you both. They shone brightly as I looked back.
I was so touched reading about the family gathering over the scarf, the love and connection is tangible. I don't know how many families EVER feel that kind of honesty, love and union.
sending big, gentle love and wishes always.......
Kara
p.s thank you for making me laugh in the midst of reading your blogs.
you are very funny!
Dear Brian, Joanne and beautiful family...
My heart goes out to you during this time. Your light and your truth are shining through you, Brian, and I can really feel the incredible heart connection that is so very present in you. You and Joanne are so inspiring...your words have touched me in many ways, from tears to laughter. Your essence is truly magnificent! I wish for you healing throughout this journey...know that you all are being held in our hearts with love.
Kaia
Brian
Renee and I are unable to look around the house without thinking of you.
Start thinking about the next bookcase design.
I've been working down in Colorado for the last 3 months, but with the worldwide recession kicking in I should get some time off for Renee and me to come down for a visit.
Until then, don't let the screen door( custom of course) hit you in the ass when you get out.
PS it seems that the onematch.ca has a age limit of 50, is that true? and are there other spots that don't have a limit?
Ciao
Tim Snyder
Hi Guys, Just heard about this blog, thank you so much for sharing as it gives a connection when there is such distance.
my aunt sent me this prayer the other day out of the blue and i'd like to pass it on to you (yes i came from a very catholic family...i do call myself a non participant..but there are times when a prayer like this one helps keep you going and gets you through) ALL OUR LOVE to your family from the Shaver family.
Saint Theresa's prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilites that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given you.
May you be confident knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
Years ago, a dear friend gave me this old Irish verse; I love it, it has reminded me many times over the years that I am alone so can find my way thru any adversity. Sharing it with you:
May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And the rains fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand
Dear Brian and Joanne
Cam and Gary told me about your illness and about this blog. I am so sorry and can only imagine how tough this time has been for all of you. Your courage in sharing your journey is truly inspiring and I am so moved by the love and support your family and friends are giving to you and each other. The very best of who we are can shine out in our darkest moments.
Brain, Keith and I think about you every day as we see and marvel at the art you created in our home here in Nelson 5 years ago. We love the burls, the wormy wood, the posts and the gentle curves. Thank you so much for creating such beauty - not just in our home but also in the world.
We are thinking of you and sending you love and thoughts. Be gentle with yourself.
Morag and Keith
Brian
You may not remember me but I am your cousin Deanna, Dave Roll's youngest daughter. Aunt Louise and Dwight had informed me of your news...I just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you strength and Love.
your cousin
Deanna
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