Next Wave

Joanne, again, its four am. I'm at a hotel, supposed to having a night's sleep. That part's not working but I've got the pleasure of listening to my children sleep. My heart is so full being in their incredible presence, missing them, and at this moment, missing Brian, wondering if he's also awake, restless and missing... I'm hoping very soon to have his laptop set up at the hospital, now that he's well enough to be sitting up for part of the day. I know being part of the blog world again, and reading all the amazing and inspiring posting from others will bring him so much pleasure and strength.
I wanted to fill everyone in on the latest developments, in the meantime. As of yesterday Brian has been getting TPN, nutrition in a liquid form through his PICC line.
This is going to help him in many ways as he recovers from his bowel obstruction. Then, on Monday he will get a PICC line in his other arm so that he can begin a round, seven days, of chemotherapy. This is an attempt to get his primary condition, the MDS, under control. Getting his associated bleeding condition (DIC), to be less of a risk to him is of fundamental importance. It is necessary before the transplant process can be activated. So, we all now can have a new focus for thoughts and prayers; may this chemo work as the medical team is hoping it will.
It should surprise no one who knows and loves Brian that he is completely unique in his manifestation of this illness, his responses to treatments, and even his basic body structure. Really, not a day goes by before we are again reminded of how unusual his case is, and what a mystery.
What a mystery, indeed. On so many levels...the feeling that we are cells in a single body, communicating with one another, sharing intelligence, information, emotional responses, surrounding with energy,and the desire to heal, the part of the body which is injured. All of us surrounding Brian that way. No one separate from the whole.

The kids are here this weekend. They will see Brian tomorrow and I think our hearts will burst to feel us all in one room, even for a few minutes. Turns out to be incredible timing with his busy week about to start. ...I've already shaved his head in preparation.
He looks extremely beautiful; soft and open, ready for what's ahead.
Thank you all for your responses. I woke up with your words in my heart and head at about three o'clock, in awe at the abundance.
Dwight, your presence here was like a powerful dream to Brian; he was so sick when you were in the room. Today he cried remembering you being here, and touching his hand. Please come back when you can. He misses you more than he thought possible.

with vast love and gratitude,
Joanne